The dorm room door opened and I hastily stuffed the piece of paper back into my pocket.Avery dropped her backpack on the floor and promptly pulled her hair up into a ponytail.I grabbed my textbook off my bed, and placed it in my lap, pretending to be doing my homework so Avery wouldn’t start questioning me about what I had been doing.I had never explained my list to anyone, let alone shown them, but I was beginning to think differently. Avery was my best friend but I certainly didn’t plan on showing her. She’d try to cross everything off in one night.“Have you heard from Trace?” She asked, sagging into her desk chair, dejectedly. I guessed she’d had a hard time in class. “He texted me,” I shrugged, like it was no big deal.“Annnnd?” She prompted, perking up. “We’re having dinner Friday,” I answered.“Aww, my little Livie is growing up,” Avery cooed, batting her eyes, “and finding herself a man.”“You’re ridiculous,” I rolled my eyes.“What? It’s about time you dated, I was starting to think you were a lesbian, and I should stop changing in front of you,” she smirked.I tossed my pillow at her but she easily deflected it. “Or maybe,” she laughed, “you’re finally shedding that good girl preacher’s daughter image. Let your inner woman out, girl!” She exclaimed. “Let her roar!” She clawed dramatically at the air.I cupped my face in my palm. “Do you think before you speak?”“Rarely,” she grinned. “What do you think you’ll wear for your date?”“First off,” I held up a finger, “it’s not a date. Secondly, do you only think about clothes?”“Oh, it’s a date. And no, sex comes before clothes,” she grinned.“Ugh,” I groaned. “You act like a horny teenage boy.”“And someone sounds jealous,” Avery twirled around in her pink swivel chair. “Of the fact that you’re practically a horny teenage boy? Hardly,” I snorted.“But seriously,” she whined, still twirling, “what are you going to wear?”She finally came to a stop and swayed dizzily.“Probably jeans and a sweatshirt,” I shrugged. Avery made a strangled noise in the back of her throat. “No! You can’t wear that!”“We’ll be in the park and it’s cold out,” I shrugged.“You still can’t wear that! A sweatshirt is completely unsuitable!” She gawked at me like I had grown three heads.“I want to be comfortable,” I reasoned.“You can be comfortable when you’re dead!” She squawked.“Avery,” I rolled my eyes, “don’t be dramatic.”“I am not being dramatic,” she spun in her chair again. “I’m just telling you what everyone with a vagina knows about the rules of dating,” she scoffed. “Everyone, except you, that is,” she added.“Why does there have to be rules?” I groaned. “It’s stupid,” I complained, falling back on my bed, the textbook on my lap falling to the side.“There are rules for the sake of our sanity,” Avery answered, striding across the room and sitting on the end of my bed. I kicked at her with my feet, trying to dislodge her. “I’m wearing a sweatshirt,” I mumbled, “whether you like it or not. I don’t want to be cold.”“Olivia,” she whined, “that’s the point, you’re supposed to get cold, so he can offer you his coat.”I sat up, staring her down. “What is this? The colonial age? I swear, what handbook are you reading this from?” I grumbled.“The one that’s been around since the dawn of time,” she reasoned with a wave of her manicured hands.“And that’s exactly why it needs to be thrown away,” I pointed out. “Women should be able to stand on their own and not depend on a guy. Let alone these stupid rules that are the so-called guide to dating. It’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”Avery grinned. “I don’t need to depend on a guy. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I just like to take a ride on their fun stick every now and then.”“Avery!” I blushed. “You did not just say that!”“I did,” she smirked, smoothing a finger over her red lips. “I love how when I say dirty things your little virgin ears turn red.”I reached up, grabbing my ears. “They do not!”“Oh, they do,” she nodded, grinning. “Back to the important matter at hand, these rules are a means to getting laid. To a guy, a sweatshirt is like practically wearing a chastity belt, telling him that these goods are not for sale.”“Oh my God,” I buried my face in my hands, my hair falling around me. “When did this turn into a mission for me to get laid? Besides, my goods are definitely not for sale.”“Girl, you’re a sophomore in college, who’s still a virgin. This has always been a mission to get you some sex, some great sex, and Trace is just the guy to do it. I can tell. It’s in the way he walks.”I let my hands drop. “I’m not a virgin.”“What? I thought you-”“Remember last year, at that party you dragged me to?” I asked.Avery’s mouth formed a perfect O. “No! Olivia! Not that guy! He looked like an ape!”“He was pretty hairy,” I snorted.Avery shuddered. “There’s no way that was a pleasant experience.”“It wasn’t,” I shrugged. “Is it supposed to be?”She looked at me like I had completely gone off my rocker this time. “Yes! It’s supposed to be amazing!”“It lasted like two minutes, how is that amazing?” I asked, avoiding Avery’s gaze by scrunching the bottom of my shirt in my hands. Avery’s eyes threatened to bug out of her head. “Two minutes? That’s it?!”“Well, yeah,” I shrugged.“Oh, girl, you can do sooooo much better than that,” Avery chuckled. “So much better,” she reiterated.“What did you mean by, it’s in the way he walks?” I asked.“What?” She asked, looking down at her hot pink nails.“You said that you could tell Trace would be good in bed, that it’s in the way he walks,” I repeated her earlier statement.“Oh!” She exclaimed. “Some guys have this walk they do. They don’t even know they’re doing it. If my experience speaks for anything, every guy that I’ve been with, that has the walk, knows exactly what he’s doing.” She rolled her hips and licked her lips to further drive home her point. “Trust me, Olivia, Trace can show you a good time.”I hid my face behind my hands again. “I think I’ve reached my sex talk quota for the day.”“Whatever,” Avery hopped up from my bed, scampering to her side of the room, “you suck.”I turned my attention back to the homework I really needed to finish, and forced myself to stop thinking about Trace’s walk, and wondering if Avery was right.
Appearances are always deceiving. And I do mean always. I met Declan Sullivan over three years ago, and it never ceases to amaze me how quickly he can sweet talk anyone into getting anything he wants. Absolutely anything. The guy’s a pro. A cocky one at that. He can talk a young woman on the verge of taking her vows of celibacy at a convent to throw caution to the wind and shout “Fuck It!” Or better yet,“PLEASE FUCK ME”. Riley and I actually had a bet with him that he couldn’t pull that one off. We lost a hundred bucks, each. But that story is for a different time. Declan, Riley, and I first met in what some would call an “Interview” process for our current employer, the Ex Ops Team. But don’t think we all sat around in suits and ties answering routine questions about what we thought our best qualities were. No,actually it was a bunch of aptitude and PT testing. How fast can you run ten miles? How fast can you put bullet holes in these targets? If captured by the enemy, will you scream like a little bitch, or man up and remain silent? By the way, does this ink blob look like just an ink blob, or do you images in the blob that may mean you’re just a tad psychotic? If you want a more visual reference, think of the movie ‘Armageddon’ and the process the drillers went through in order to go into space times ten on steroids. That would be about right. Anyway, I got paired with Declan right off the bat. The guy had me spilling my guts about my past within the hour. The Sneaky bastard. But, I guess if you have to bare all to at least one person in your life,wouldn't it be to the one guy whom you know that would have your back in the most dangerous situations? After we’d all been through a full day of push ups, pistols and pushy ass drill sergeant wannabe’s, I was directed to wait in a room at the end of the hall until our “interview” could go on to the next stage. Opening the door to said room, I found Declan waiting in a shabby conference room that had dust motes attacking every surface in full force, causing my nose to twitch so I wouldn’t sneeze. I walked in and watched him pushing the dust around with the tip of his finger. He must have been bored because he was instructing someone to “clean me” in the dust topped shitty looking table he was sitting in front of in a wood paneled room with dim lighting. Declan looked up at me, ran his eyes over from head to toe before going back to my face, and then shook his head before going back to his masterpiece. I didn’t even make it to my seat before he said, “Read you like a book, man.” Suddenly on guard, I asked. “Really? And what is it that you think you see Sullivan?” “You're lost bro. Simply lost.” Waving a finger around in the air pointed in my direction,“Well, at least your part of you is.” I looked down at myself, noted everything was still intact and in working order, and then shot him a puzzled look. “I think you got a screw loose. I’m not lost man.” Declan leaned towards me over the table and looked me straight in the eyes. “Dude, you’ve got to be shitting me. Trust me, I’ve seen that look before. You’re lost, and you’ve been trying to find your way back for a long ass time from the looks of it.” Moving away so that he was sprawled in a lazy manner in his chair, he folded his hands over his flat stomach and gave me a look I imagine most Psychiatrists gave their patients. “So why don’t you tell me all about this girl that’s been plaguing your mind.” I couldn’t help but laugh at him for his elaborate change in accent so that he now had a strong Irish parody in his otherwise surfer boy dialogue. Shaking my head, and giving a mirthless laugh in total disbelief that this guy had in fact read me like a book.“Well, her name is Belle.”
until next time, xo jen
Release Date: 05/14/13
Here we go:
Book Blurb from GR:
Let me start off by saying I am so excited that this is not a stand alone! I can't wait for the next installment! I loved the world that Jen Frederick was able to create and the characters in it. She seems to have an effortless way of crafting her characters that I really really loved. The flow of her writing was really nice, I didn't reread or get bored - which is kind of obvious since I was up so late reading it.
moving on to the good stuff... this book has some HOT scenes in it! This is a debut for this author so I wasn't sure what to expect exactly on the steam factor, but WOW - it was niiiiiiiiiiiiice.
I don't want to say much more because I don't want to spoil anything for you - because I know you all will love this book when you pick it up next week on Wednesday, 5/1!These characters like I said earlier were really great - I actually cared about them... Noah more so than Grace but by the end of the book I was loving Grace as well. It took the journey she went on for me to feel fully invested in her, but that's the point of reading a good book, right?! I absolutely love Noah - he is so complicated and so emotional and yet not... confusing right, well read the book - you'll know what I mean.
I will leave you with possibly my favorite quote from the book... enjoy:
until next time, Jen
“I didn't have to look at him to know I’d just lost everything I’d ever wanted because I felt it. I felt the loss seep into bone and tissue. I felt it settle between the cracks in my heart and the empty holes in my soul.”
“She needed to get back on her own horse. And boy did she need someone to saddle her up good. And fast. And hard. And – shut it, Sterling. Pull up your professional pants and get back to work.”
“He grabbed at the neck of his shirt and pulled it over his head.Sweet. Mother. Mary. So worth it.”
Now, this is out of context here but I can’t give you all of it since it would tell you too much – let me just tell you this… Sterling is thinking this, not saying it, about Jack.
“He was sex on a stick and she wanted to lick him like a lollipop”
This is what prompted the song below to run through my head the entire story… oh and this is kind of a random video… the song actually starts at 2:15 into the video, but check it out…
|photo and bio taken from Robin's website|
I fell for these characters from the beginning. I really did like how the played off each other and worked together and developed. They evolved into what happens - it just works. I'm still working on calming down from the end - seriously, it's fantastic & leaves you wanting more! There's a little cliffy ending, but it doesn't kill you just leaves you wanting more. I'm pretty satisfied with this ending - I don't want to rip my hair out or anything, but I can't wait to read the next installment!Here's a note from my journal that I keep while reading. This one is from Carrie's POV: "Finn fell silent, but he looked at me weird. As if I was an enigma he couldn't figure out, which was silly. It was a simple matter. I had money they didn't. Easily fixed. It wasn't exactly rocket science" I love that she doesn't see how special she really is... Also love that without trying she is proving Finn wrong over and over again with his assumptions about her.
He is everywhere. In my thoughts. In my dreams. In my air. I’m trying to fight my attraction to Taron, but my heart doesn’t seem to listen to my mind. I know it’s a disaster waiting to happen if I give in, yet I still keep thinking of the possibilities. He has a past. So do I. He loves to flirt. So do I. He will be leaving to go on tour tomorrow. I won’t. He was there for me when I thought I lost my best friend. The title ‘best friend’ doesn’t really do what we have justice. Eaven is my sister. We may come from different blood, but in all aspects that count we are family. A couple of months ago Eaven was kidnapped and driven into the river by her boyfriend’s ex. Taron never left my side the entire time we were searching for her or when she was recovering in the hospital. He has been to my apartment to check on me daily since Eaven has been staying with Talon to recover. Don’t get me wrong. He has continuously made advances toward me since we found out Eaven was going to be ok. He flirts non-stop, but I’m a girl who likes all of that attention. I just don’t want to share my attention with other girls. I have to decide if I can handle sharing him before I give myself to him completely. After all he is the lead singer in the band ‘Rebel Walking’. They are going to be gone more on tour now. This will be their second time to go on tour with main stream bands. They were such a huge success the first time, they were chosen to be the opening band at every single one of ‘Beckoning Reality’s‘ concerts. I heard all of the details from Taron when he called to check on me while he was away on the first tour. I’ve managed to fight him off until this point, but I’m sure since he leaves in the morning, he will be trying extra hard tonight to get me to cave. Smitty has kicked off a celebration to send the band off in style. It looks like everyone has shown up to see the band one last time. This place is packed. Eaven and I went shopping for new outfits this week. She wants to look exceptional tonight since she is sending her fiancé off for four weeks. She is just recently engaged to Talon and they are perfect for each other. I am so excited that she found someone who makes her happy and treats her right. He just happens to look identical to the guy that I am fighting myself to not like. Talon and Taron Walker are identical twins. The story of the two sisters falling in love with twin bad boys is one that never comes true. I look over and see Taron at the band’s reserved table talking to his twin. My eyes shift to his broad shoulders and the dark, tight shirt that doesn’t leave much to the imagination. I’ve been in his arms a few times and I know that his chest and stomach are sculpted and just as defined as the shirt makes it appear. He has dark hair, almost black. He wears it messy so that it looks like he just got out of bed. The look really works for him. I know that he does put effort into his hair because I have been stuck waiting on him to get ready. He jumps up to pester his older brother Holden and I begin to appreciate the view of his ass in those jeans. His jeans hang just right, just the way I love to see. I’ve never let him know that I appreciate how he looks. He would never let me live it down if I did. Eaven leaves me to make her way to Talon. I see Taron begin to search the room as soon as he sees her arrive. He spots me and starts to look me up and down. His eyes never leave me as he stalks across the room. “Poison Ivy! It is such a pleasure to see you out for the kill tonight.” He takes his index finger and runs it down my chest and into the valley of my cleavage causing my shirt to lower. He stops just before he exposes me. “Do you want to lose that finger?” I really want him to continue, but I would never tell him that. “I would love for you to take my entire finger.” He removes his digit from my chest and I know his meaning behind his reply. He has never been shy about his sexual desire with me. “In your dreams.” I turn away from him to begin my walk to the table. He stops me after only a few steps. He grabs my hips and holds me against him. I can feel him invading my space again. He is consuming all of my senses. He leans down to whisper in my ear. “Yea that pretty much sums it up.” My body heats up as his breath blows past my ear. The sensation sends a shiver through my body and heat straight to my core. He holds me so close that I can feel how much he wants me as it presses into my backside. “When are you going to quit playing hard to get? You know we will be hot together. You know you want what only I can give you.” He begins to sway back and forth with the music. I want what he is offering me so much. I want to let go and ride the roller coaster that is Taron. I know there will be ups and downs. I just don’t know if I can hang on until the end and exit the ride safely. I don’t know if he will break my heart. Usually I don’t let myself get attached to a guy. We have fun and then say our goodbyes. Taron managed to work his way into my life in a way that we are so beyond a simple affair without strings. I just don’t know if he is capable of what I want. I want him. All of him. To myself. No sharing. “I don’t want to share,” I say through the lump in my throat. “I don’t have any intentions of sharing you.” He flips me around to face him. He guides my arms over his shoulders and slowly drags his hands back down my arms, down my sides, and then around my waist. He flattens both of his hands out on my butt cheeks and presses me further into him. We continue to sway with the music. I look into his eyes. I can see desire. I can see the same heat that I feel. I decide to give in. I pull him down to meet my lips. He doesn’t waste any time joining my tongue. I know he is a great kisser. We have already established the hot chemistry between us once before. He continues to press himself into me and the pressure makes me crave more of him. “Spend the night with me.” He is begging me through the tone of his voice. I bow my head in thought and he kisses my forehead. He uses his large hands to guide my head back up to look at him. He closes his eyes as he nears me and begins to softly kiss my lips. This gentle side of him is my undoing. “My place isn’t as crowded. I’m pretty sure you won’t want your brothers to hear what I have planned for you.” I nibble on his bottom lip as I pull away from his lips. “Fuuuuccckk Me.” He has a huge smile on his face. “I have to sing a few songs and then you are mine.” He holds me tight until the rest of the band has taken the stage. When Talon and Luke start to play, he finally releases me. “Don’t go anywhere. I want to watch you while I am on stage.” I stay exactly where he leaves me. I enjoy the songs so much more this time. It seems like he is singing them directly to me. His eyes are intense and he never really looks anywhere but at me. The crowd is still going wild trying to get his attention. Panties and bras are thrown up at him, but he never averts his attention away from me. I feel someone up against my back and I turn to see who is standing this close to me. It’s Dylan. His job relocated him a couple of months back. We went out a couple of times, but we weren’t exclusive. “Hey Dylan.” I smile at him and place my hand on his arm stepping sideways just a little to give myself some room. “Ivy. How is my girl?” The way he just said my girl irritates me. He grips my arm very tightly and I yank it from his grip. What the hell is his problem? “I am not anyone’s girl.” Aiden is next to me in a matter of seconds. Aiden and I have been friends since we met. In the beginning he wanted to be more than friends. I think he finally realized that my feelings for Taron are much deeper than I let on and he backed off. He started dating another girl, but we still talk daily. We sometimes meet for dinner or drinks when he has time. He is pure country. He is pure country cowboy with a perfect gentleman demeanor. “Get your hands off of Ivy.” Aiden is in Dylan’s face the instant he can be. “You got a problem, cowboy?” Dylan pushes Aiden back. “Lay a hand on a girl and you are the one with a big problem. It will be the last time you use your hands.” Aiden is dead serious with his threat. “Let’s take this outside.” The cowboys surround Dylan. Taron busts through the crowd that has surrounded us. He slams into Dylan’s chest with the rage of a fighter. His force slams Dylan to the ground. Taron has his arm pressing into Dylan’s throat causing him to gasp for air. “You touch her again, motherfucker, and I will personally make sure that you never live to see tomorrow.” It takes four guys to pull Taron off of Dylan. The cowboys escort Dylan out of the bar and Taron is outraged. “What the fuck!” He begins to yell in anger. “Chill out brother.” Talon attempts to calm his twin down. “What did he say to you? Why is he grabbing you like that? Why is cowboy saving the fucking day?” He is full of questions that I don’t know the answer to. “He just grabbed my arm tightly and asked how his girl was doing. I told him that I am not anyone’s girl and then Aiden was there. Calm down, please.” I’m starting to feel the stress of him being this angry. My childhood was spent with different men beating on my mother every day. They used to talk to her and look at her like he is talking to me right now. I don’t think he would ever hit me, but his rage is causing old memories to surface that I am not ready to deal with right now. “Aiden saves the motherfucking day. Doesn’t he?” He is angry with me. Why is he so pissed at me? “Aiden is just a friend. What is your problem?” I grab him by the collar of his t-shirt and pull his face to mine. “Jealous much?” “No one should be touching you like that.” “I agree and it has been handled. Please don’t ruin tonight for us.” I beg him as I hold him an inch from my face trying to get him to focus on me. He finally calms down just as Smitty shows up to see what is going on. I’m thankful that Smitty loves these guys. I’m positive that all of our asses would have been tossed if they weren’t the band that fills this bar every time they schedule. “I’m done tonight. The show is over.” Taron begins to yell at everyone that is surrounding us. The DJ starts to play some music and the crowd finally moves away. “I’m ready to break out of here.” He looks frustrated as he looks at me over his shoulder. He has a hold of my hand and our arms are extended between us since I haven’t moved. I see Eaven looking at us with a smile on her face. I decide to walk in her direction and Taron follows staying attached to my hand. “We’re going to head out.” She knows what we’re leaving to do. She knows me better than I know myself sometimes. She leans over to hug me and manages to whisper in my ear so that Taron can’t hear. “Be careful my friend.” Then she leans into a hug with him. She whispers something in his ear that I can’t hear.
“Hurt her, and I will kill you.” Eaven’s threat is heard loud and clear. I have witnessed the bond that these two share, and I know they will always protect each other. My future sister-in-law is a feisty survivor and I don’t plan to cross her. She has proven that she will fight for those she loves. It takes entirely too long to exit the club. People are everywhere and every time I turn around some girl from one of my past hookups is lingering in my view waiting for the opportunity to ‘meet’ up with me. I know Ivy can sense what these girls are after because she gets defensive before we get out the door. “Jealous much?” I decide the best way to approach this is to be playful and throw her words right back at her. “Um…. No. Like I have always said, if you want ‘cock rot’ feel free to play the field, just don’t expect me to hang around.” She is extremely sassy with that fucking mouth of hers. It is what I love and hate so much about her equally. She is a breath of fresh air compared to all of the groupies that I am flooded with constantly. I have been holding out for Ivy since we started spending so much time together after Eaven’s accident. “There’s no ‘cock rot’ here. My dick may fall off from lack of use lately, but I know that I’m clean. I always wrap it and I get tested regularly.” I have to protect myself from the lot lizards of the concert scene. They will agree with everything I say or want to do. It’s like they are spineless females that expect me to give them a great fuck and then they know the drill. They head out. I may hit four girls in the same night if I start at the club. I haven’t had any interest in any of them lately. Been there, fucked that. There is a sexy brunette that has had all of my attention. I love a challenge. She acts like she isn’t interested in me, but I know that if she has a taste, she will love it. I can’t wait to see if that sassy mouth is just as feisty in the bedroom. If it is, I may not be able to stand it.