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Interrogation Techniques: The Smooth Talker

Appearances are always deceiving.  And I do mean always.  I met Declan Sullivan over three years ago, and it never ceases to amaze me how quickly he can sweet talk anyone into getting anything he wants.  Absolutely anything.  The guy’s a pro.  A cocky one at that.  He can talk a young woman on the verge of taking her vows of celibacy at a convent to throw caution to the wind and shout “Fuck It!” Or better yet,“PLEASE FUCK ME”.  Riley and I actually had a bet with him that he couldn’t pull that one off.  We lost a hundred bucks, each.  But that story is for a different time.        Declan, Riley, and I first met in what some would call an “Interview” process for our current employer, the Ex Ops Team.  But don’t think we all sat around in suits and ties answering routine questions about what we thought our best qualities were.  No,actually it was a bunch of aptitude and PT testing.  How fast can you run ten miles?  How fast can you put bullet holes in these targets?  If captured by the enemy, will you scream like a little bitch, or man up and remain silent?  By the way, does this ink blob look like just an ink blob, or do you images in the blob that may mean you’re just a tad psychotic?        If you want a more visual reference, think of the movie ‘Armageddon’ and the process the drillers went through in order to go into space times ten on steroids.  That would be about right.  Anyway, I got paired with Declan right off the bat. The guy had me spilling my guts about my past within the hour.  The Sneaky bastard.  But, I guess if you have to bare all to at least one person in your life,wouldn't it be to the one guy whom you know that would have your back in the most dangerous situations?       After we’d all been through a full day of push ups, pistols and pushy ass drill sergeant wannabe’s, I was directed to wait in a room at the end of the hall until our “interview” could go on to the next stage.  Opening the door to said room, I found Declan waiting in a shabby conference room that had dust motes attacking every surface in full force, causing my nose to twitch so I wouldn’t sneeze.  I walked in and watched him pushing the dust around with the tip of his finger.  He must have been bored because he was instructing someone to “clean me” in the dust topped shitty looking table he was sitting in front of in a wood paneled room with dim lighting.  Declan looked up at me, ran his eyes over from head to toe before going back to my face, and then shook his head before going back to his masterpiece.  I didn’t even make it to my seat before he said, “Read you like a book, man.”      Suddenly on guard, I asked. “Really? And what is it that you think you see Sullivan?”      “You're lost bro. Simply lost.”  Waving a finger around in the air pointed in my direction,“Well, at least your part of you is.” I looked down at myself, noted everything was still intact and in working order, and then shot him a puzzled look. “I think you got a screw loose. I’m not lost man.” Declan leaned towards me over the table and looked me straight in the eyes. “Dude, you’ve got to be shitting me. Trust me, I’ve seen that look before. You’re lost, and you’ve been trying to find your way back for a long ass time from the looks of it.”  Moving away so that he was sprawled in a lazy manner in his chair, he folded his hands over his flat stomach and gave me a look I imagine most Psychiatrists gave their patients. “So why don’t you tell me all about this girl that’s been plaguing your mind.”       I couldn’t help but laugh at him for his elaborate change in accent so that he now had a strong Irish parody in his otherwise surfer boy dialogue.       Shaking my head, and giving a mirthless laugh in total disbelief that this guy had in fact read me like a book.“Well, her name is Belle.”